I will try to add more colours in.

Days are killing for me now.

I am so exhausted to have a fake smile everyday on my face.

all of you never appriaciated me as what I am.

I've throbbed in pain by all of your negligence.
For the beginning, I thought that I can stand on myself.

you never know what is inside me.
Why this tears keep dropping down.

Maybe you just talk to me because the sense of pitiness.
I can feel there's no any affections left for me.

I want to being loved by everyone.

but i am devouted of the reassuring feelings.

I have tried to pluck up my courage to convince myself my friends dear me as well.

But is seems like a big NO if i keep holding this deception.

You talked and i realized that , I was not in the part of your conversation.

And for someone .
who i believed he can cheer me up,

I feel that i am not like dating .

You are acting like you are the everything for me.
you watch me scornfully full with your disdain and grimace,

fooling me around.
And I don't know what's wrong with me.

I keep telling you tons and mountainous advices for your good.

I know I'm too into your life,
I know I'm not a decent and proper girl like what you have wished before.

No wonder sometimes I can feel your hatred.
I know you sometimes detest me.
Although i feel it vaguely.

So,from now on.I bet you will never hear my voice talking and wailing more for your good.It's your own life and I don't have any rights to help you to make any decision.

....................................................................................



Yes,say I'm a coward,a dastard,a kind of cynical person,and a foolish demeanour owner
But it's exactly what i feel right now.

I just don't have someone who I can share about.

I was taken aback by everyone's negligence.
I hope that i can stand much longer.

I accuse myself of jotting down such stupid post.
but i can't stand much longer.

My tears have dried up and maybe I've felt much better.

and I am mocking and deriding myself.

have a nice day.
everyone.

laugh at me please .just know that i am a fool

today is a very gruesome day for me.

guess what??

I'm excited to add a widget ( i don't know either what widget is but the blogger says it as a widget,oke fine ) it's a facebook badge.

it said i have to revert to layouts,
and I forgot to backup my previous template.
and damn.

i'd ruined my blog.

i'm sooo lazy to search for a new skin/.
maybe someday.

my c-box,my buddies links and anything.
stupid.


hope u enjoy it with sincere.



( MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SHUT DOWN AND SIP MY SIPPY CUP NOW :( )

DAMN.

The Ruins

i just know you never dear me.
for all this time.

you just take me as your burden.

without you i can stand on my own feet.

I just need a little time to give a proof .

yeah.

CUPCAKEY :)

i just wanna tell you.

i've watched wolverine ( hugh jackman , i love you ) hahaa.
for 3 times.
and never stuck in a boredom.
greaT mannnnn!!!!


some photos taken this afternoon.

claudya is better when she got her hair ponytail :)

holaaa !!!







IT's me LOL.







MALAAMM SEMUA :)

I LOVE THE FUN

holaaaa.!

today.
solaria.
hahha.

it was just so delightly nice @ the beginning.



and turns to the nightmare suddenly


YOU HURT ME

my obsessionsssss ;) (lots of ss )

i just wrapped up in all my secret task to do :)

yeah.
today is moiras bday.
hope he woll be just okey . :)

and always have a great determine for his dream..
go go go.
you can do it !!!

i love canon so much :)
i am trying extra extra hard to afford it right now :) yeah.
but i have lots of disdainful feeling in me.
can i do it ?
but it's still my decent admiration.
and still one!
again,secret.hahaahahhhahhaha.

enough for today.
i need for my shower now.

P.s: I am wondering about eveline cinthia stella ivan and so on bla bla trips to pante. So nice will it be! yeah :)

let's head for the new one .

today i have my hair cut.
not really short.
but shorter than before.

yesterday was the last day for The Un.
and so far i had done it reallly welll..


days are passing so fast and it is nearer to the date when i will start my driving course. wish me luck yeah :)

excelso is just good.




my really just only one muse : SECRET.


andd..
48 days to go ! ( BALI ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i happily announce.
topshop sale is starting now.

it seduces me .
but maybe i can't ask the credit from my mom.


but i will try.hehe.
hope the invoice which will come the next month is still on the rail.

yeah.

i regreted for memorizing the un worth contekan.

the answers are all out of box .
hahaha.

well,time is starting to tear us apart now :(



P.S : I just need a little lumination of gilded wardrobe.

AND THE UN IS KICKING IN

yes.
I'm vigorously motivated.
and i want to scream boisterously to let you all know
that tomorrow will be the first day of the UN

i have waited so long for this day.
yeah.
wish me luck okey?

gilag.poniku panjang kali

heyyy.
i hate this deaddd ponnyy.

i have really to get it cut or anythingg.
ohhh.
i plan to cut it this sunday.
hope someone can fetch mee.
so dead.

let me so you all this :






this is my card ( okay. there's written there my name ellora .so it caannot be mistake that that is not my card. so epic :( )
my card for the national exam.WOW . the last year of junior high school .must kick for it !



and this one :







books for the UN preparations.
maybe i've just finished a quater of it.
i am lacking of time .

please help me someone :(

i LOVE my life

halo.
back again.
i have mountainous of picture to upload.

days are wrecking these days.

P.S : i Tried to search money on the internet.
sounds stupid .damn.


okey.
THe national exam is approaching like hell.

hey i can't wait.
i can overcome you :)



the bolsters war.hahahaha.










yeahhh..

Hectic schedules await me.

dadaaahh !! love you !

I'M FIFTEEN NOW DARLINGSS :)

woww.
i am back !
with new spirits.

no more doomsdayss !
hahaha.

i fell like vigorously energetic now.

i feel like i 've been trusted by 6 millions people over the world to accomplish a Super S mission task !

i just feel like WOW !
hahaa.. =)

i love my family my friends.

they have given me a real example.

they have epitomized me to a good day with bright laughters and joy.

i Love to being said vivacious and attractive

and kinda jovial girl..


WOW.
i am fifteen and i have to hold on a bigger responsibility.

yeah.like as well, to lead the world :)

( too exaggerating well i know dears hahaha )

i have to polish off my diffidence .

I have to desist from being a bad tempered girl

i don't want to deviate from my religion teaching and as well


the most IMPORTANT one is

I want to make my parents proud of mee..





TODAY IS MY PAPA BDAY .AND I WANT TO LET HIM KNOW I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
HAPPY BDAY PAPA . I OWE YOU MUCH .WISH YOU GET A BETTER AND PROSPEROUS LIFE.
LIVE LONGER AND LONGER.AND SMILE ALWAYS ! CHEERS PAPA !

in this little fellow heart, i cry.

miserable baby.
I wish i can just skip these days dear.without hearing anything that intended to hurt me baby.why.all what i've expected never come to me..
my heart throbbed in pain.
disappointed.
they are acting like a venomous little wicky things.
i just want to snap them away from me.

I JUST WANT TO SAY THE DISPUTE WON'T SOLVE A THING.
I BROKE INTO TEARS.

WAITING TO BE HEARD.
I JUST WISH I HAVE ANOTHER ALTER-EGO SO I CAN FORGET THOSE F**KING SHIT THINGS.

I AM NOT STURDY ENOUGH TO HOLD MYSELF ON.

MY FAILURE.
MY DEBILITATION.
THE IRONY.


AH.
I NEED A SOLEMN.
A TIME.
A " BE GRATEFUL " WISH.

WITH MASSIVE CHANGES TOWARDS THE BETTER FUTURE.

I HOPE....

I HATE THIS LIFE

I hate.
I hate.
I hate.


Life is such a wreck.
full of sarcasm.
full of vandals.
no one trying to deter them.

Shit to them.

DEFYING the gravity :)

awestruck !

what is on my mind now ,definitely comprising about physics.
the mass the pressure the magnetical fairy tale.
haha.
and so on.
ohh damn physics !!!

nowadays.
i am so addicted to stocking.
it made my legs and my hips look more longerr :)

wow.
so vivaciously me.

and i just come back from wandering aroundcambridge city square.

i found a brand-new boutique.
the fashion lounge
the wardrobe they pack is 100 percents what i wantt.

i want the stuffs.
i am falling in love with its hi waist.
the elegant turqoise and shocking pink..

I 'D KILLED FOR THESE !!!!


BEING A RENOWNED GIRL SOMETIMES IS NOT DEFINITELY WHAT YOU WANT


I sought for hair brooch yesterday.

i have found one!

gonna save some money !

alley living life.

today i just spend the time with my famillyy :)

ahh.
i have nothing to write today.

dadahhhh...

CREATE THE BOND

hey there.
as i had said before.

the english test was just so so so.
okeey,

ready to chill in physics.
ohh so dead.

now i have a really great problem.
mind to help?

you know.
i cannot made a candid of myself now.

so sad.it's like i cannot grab any angle or any poses that is good enough to upload to the society.

all i can do is say how lame i am.

duarr.!

okeyy..
what i love is about the holidayy man!!!

4 days man!


okey.
continue tommoroww....


i really have to get a kind of quick rid of snorty snob disease !


and.
i don't know what to do with my new twitter..
hahhhhh..





wow :)
i play on the stock now!
forex!

my COMPLACENCE.

let's have some fun.this beat is sick

woooohooo. !

jihhii..
alomost one week since my last post.
okeY.
TODAY is the first term to encounter , i mean the try out to achieve NEARLY EXCELL in UN.
I don't say excell :( because i will grump myself if i cannot make it.
so nearly excell is better baby :)

okey.
this morning was math.

suprisingly
the questions were out of the box.

i had predicted how the questions will haunt me all over during the test.
but hey heyy.

it was easier .
though still resulted for 1 mistake.

this time semester test is kinda no-much-to- bother

BUT i guarantee BHS INDOS will sucks .!
ohh hoo.

believe me .


tomorrow is english.
and may my hardwork pay for the perfect result . :)

You can make the world a better place just by saying hello

The decent admirations.

Topshop is finally opening in New York, and last night's celebratory dinner at Balthazar, the first of this week's three buzz-generating bashes organized by owner Sir Philip Green, helped ensure his cheap-chic fashion chain will hit the ground running !!

Taylor Momsen was one of the fabbY topshop's guest.
A to mazing ;)

I'm greatly blend into shirts.
boy - look -alike shirts with a little of tartan pattern but i would rather prefer the down lining than the tartan.

I had got some of the awsome images.
but maybe i will just upload them tomorrow.
woohooo.



I am waiting eagerly for the national test.
the average for all subjects is 5,00

Can i make it more than that dear?

haha.


i have a kind of insomnia
so my mom suggested me to drink the green veggie that had been made into juice.

NICE !

and it works.
it's time to hear the lullaby now..


good night !!

WE ARE THE CHANGE THAT WE SEEK

these days ,
a lot of things happened.

first of all ,my disease has cured a little bit.
well ,
i am suffered everytime i used the ointment.
but.
well
beauty needs pain

I have to stop my day dream.
I must know how to behave myself.
just myself.
hahh..
i'm not that loaded as well.
still hope the predicament doesn't tear me apart from my daydream :)

tomorrow.
i willhave no-exact-time for myself.
have to catch on physics.
exams will be coming soon !


P.S : 78 days to go ! ( BALI ) :)