I will try to add more colours in.

Days are killing for me now.

I am so exhausted to have a fake smile everyday on my face.

all of you never appriaciated me as what I am.

I've throbbed in pain by all of your negligence.
For the beginning, I thought that I can stand on myself.

you never know what is inside me.
Why this tears keep dropping down.

Maybe you just talk to me because the sense of pitiness.
I can feel there's no any affections left for me.

I want to being loved by everyone.

but i am devouted of the reassuring feelings.

I have tried to pluck up my courage to convince myself my friends dear me as well.

But is seems like a big NO if i keep holding this deception.

You talked and i realized that , I was not in the part of your conversation.

And for someone .
who i believed he can cheer me up,

I feel that i am not like dating .

You are acting like you are the everything for me.
you watch me scornfully full with your disdain and grimace,

fooling me around.
And I don't know what's wrong with me.

I keep telling you tons and mountainous advices for your good.

I know I'm too into your life,
I know I'm not a decent and proper girl like what you have wished before.

No wonder sometimes I can feel your hatred.
I know you sometimes detest me.
Although i feel it vaguely.

So,from now on.I bet you will never hear my voice talking and wailing more for your good.It's your own life and I don't have any rights to help you to make any decision.

....................................................................................



Yes,say I'm a coward,a dastard,a kind of cynical person,and a foolish demeanour owner
But it's exactly what i feel right now.

I just don't have someone who I can share about.

I was taken aback by everyone's negligence.
I hope that i can stand much longer.

I accuse myself of jotting down such stupid post.
but i can't stand much longer.

My tears have dried up and maybe I've felt much better.

and I am mocking and deriding myself.

have a nice day.
everyone.